I believe everything in this life and beyond happens exactly as it should. Sometimes, in the moment or during stressful times, we don’t understand why. But in time and with an open heart, we are often led to the answers.
I have been an advocate, mentor and crisis interventionist for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. I have also obtained my life coaching certification in order to continue to be of service. It took me MANY years to recognize that what really fills me up is service. This journey began years ago before I really understood the road I was on. It started in my early 20s when I left an abusive relationship – read more about that story in my blog post:
Domestic Abuse – Reality vs Perception
I was fortunate to build the strength of mind to end that relationship. It was difficult and scary and forever changed me. At the time, I hated him, feared him and honestly wished him dead sometimes. But, over time, I started looking at myself and I started turning it around. I began to forgive him because holding on to the anger only destroyed me. I forgave him because I truly believe he was just doing the best he could. I forgave him because he taught me more about myself than anyone had before him. I forgave him because I had faith that going through that experience was exactly what was meant for me. It took me a long time to realize that…many years went by after I left him before I came to the forgiveness. But it came.
And then something happened, I had an undeniable calling to do more…for others. To “get out of the boat” that I was floating in, all protected and mostly healed. As I was sailing along, abuser in my rearview, I was led to help others that were in abusive situations. To give them hope and support and mostly let them know they are worthy and believed and not alone. It has been one of my greatest honors to sit with a woman or child who had just had unthinkable things happen and give comfort. Or just hold space for them as they were scared and had no where to turn.
I continue to advocate for the survivors. I am grateful to have a voice and use it for good.
I had no idea at the time I was in that awful relationship that one day I would actually be grateful for having experienced it. It gave me a special kind of compassion and love that I would never have had. It renewed my faith in something greater than myself. God/the Universe/the Divine gives us what we need. We just need to be open to accept it and trust that it will lead us where we need to be.
Our experiences can become opportunities to support, guide and connect with others who may be going through something similar. What if the reason you went through something and survived it is so that you can help someone else get to the other side, too? Now that your boat is floating in calmer waters, maybe someone else’s needs bailing out.
I share this as a reminder that there are signs all around us. The call to “get out of the boat” happens all the time. Not everyone recognizes that call. It isn’t a big billboard. It is sometimes just a quiet little whisper. That is where faith in something bigger than us takes over. And a trust that you will be ok.
