Life. It is a journey. A winding road with twists, turns, ups, downs and blind curves that force us to slow down so as not to fly off the cliff. And sometimes, it surprises you. You know that moment, when everything changes. When things can never to go back to the way they were. Sometimes it is a quiet little whisper like the wind blowing in a change. Other times it is the Mack Truck of life completely running you over so you have no choice but to take notice. Often, it is somewhere in between. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we have all been there on some level.
Maybe it is a realization that someone is not who we thought they were. That we made up a story to keep ourselves “comfortably numb” to the truth or the pain that may lie ahead. Or to keep them on the pedestal upon which we set them so as not to disappoint ourselves. And then one day, their true character reveals itself in such a way that we cannot live in that space of denial anymore. Everything changes that day…whether it is a forever change or just a momentary change depends on the amount of work and ownership we want and are able to do.
We have two choices at that point: Move forward with the newly acquired awareness in a way that is authentic to our own personal moral compass (even if it is hard and painful) OR box that information back up, put it on a shelf and continue to live in the space of blissful avoidance. I have done both and can tell you that, in the end, the latter brings more pain than joy and peace.
Other times the surprise comes in that moment when you feel blindsided. Completely sideswiped, bowled over and knocked for a loop you never saw coming. That instance when someone says something to you that is so shocking or hurtful that everything else that comes out of their mouths sounds like the adult voices in the old “Peanuts” cartoons – Wah wah wah wah. The gut punch that doubles you over! It comes after being told you or a loved one have a life-threatening illness. It comes from a betrayal or verbal attack from someone you trusted, or news of a death, divorce, or affair. For a minute (or a week, a year, a lifetime) your world stops and you wonder how you will proceed with your life now that the axle on which your world has been rotating has been shifted off-kilter. You ask yourself, “How will I ever get over/through this? Will I ever be ok?”
And THEN comes the time when something so unexpected and completely organic happens you have to pinch yourself to be sure it is real. It’s when you look up and suddenly the fog has lifted and right in front of you is some clarity that hasn’t been there in a LONG time (if ever). One minute you are just living your life, doing what you love – or just what you know – and then the universe rewards you with something beautiful. “My goodness” this is an interesting and maybe even an exciting turn of events. You don’t know how long this feeling or experience will last but you DO know you are forever changed because of it. It sparked something in you that you haven’t felt before…at least not that you can remember. A new awareness about yourself that gives you the confidence to live authentically. And reminds you that you ARE enough!
So you decide to roll with it rather than question it. And be grateful for the gift…for as long as it remains.
See, the truth is that nothing is permanent. The good, the bad and everything in between. We spend so much time trying to hold tight to the things we want to make last forever and reject or avoid those that are painful and challenging. But is anything really meant to last forever, anyway? As Buddhist Nun Pema Chodron says: “impermanence is the essence of everything”. Everything changes…always. Thank the Universe for that! Because just when we get too comfortable – or uncomfortable – we are given the opportunity to adjust, adapt and reexamine ourselves and our situations.
So, soar with the highs. Enjoy them, Embrace them, Soak it all in. Recognize the gift and the lesson that comes with the positive energy and experience. But don’t cling so tightly that you lose yourself along the way. On the flip side, ride the lows. Feel all the feelings. Lean into the pain, fear, loss, trauma. Recognize the lesson and the purpose that comes with the challenging experience. But don’t cling so tightly that you lose yourself along the way.
The truth is…if we can learn to embrace the impermanence, to roll with the changes, and not attach ourselves to the outcome that we think should happen or that we want to happen, we can find peace in our hearts and heads. True peace does not come because everything in our lives is aligning and smoothly sailing along. True peace comes from trusting that everything happens exactly as it should and if we hang in there long enough, a shift will come along and give us another opportunity to learn about ourselves and to continue to become exactly who we are meant to be.
Life. It IS a journey!
